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honookoMan, nothing ruins an evening like bad yaoi. Really bad yaoi.
I have made absolutely no progress on essay #2, so I'm going to free-write in this entry to... I don't know. Work it out, I suppose.
The prompt is to choose and discuss a quotation or personal motto that "reflects your values and beliefs and tells us something about the kind of person you are." And since I actually have a motto, it shouldn't be this hard. But it is, because how do I explain why it means so much to me?
I don't want to tell the story that caused this motto. It's pointless, and I've told it enough as is. And I'll admit, a big part of my reluctance has to do with not wanting that woman to have anything to do with my sucess.
No regrets. No regrets. It means never doubting yourself, even when everyone else does. It means accepting the past, no matter how painful. It means making choices for yourself, because it's your life. It's about taking responsiblity for what you've done, because life doesn't have a 'reset' button. It means that "step nine" becomes completely irrelevant. It means that given the chance, you would live your life exactly the same way.
But at the same time, it doesn't mean 'I never make mistakes'. Because I do; I'm only human. I've screwed up before, and I'll screw up again. I can't predict the future, and I don't pretend to be infalible. But I won't waste time wishing I could take it back and prevent the error, because what would I have learned? Nothing. I've seen down the path that leads to regret, and I got off it.
It's about balance. I will make mistakes, but I will grow from the experience. It's about acceptance. I can't do it over again, so I won't wish that I could. It's about self, because in the end, that's all I really have that's truly mine. I only get one shot at living, at being myself, and I refuse to waste it.
I've not struggled like some people. I haven't suffered like some people. But I'm not some people, and I've had enough dark times to know that I don't want to go back there. I refuse to go back.
'No regrets' means I don't need to beg forgiveness to be happy; as long as I forgive myself. But mostly? It means exactly what it says.
I regret nothing. And I always will.
I have made absolutely no progress on essay #2, so I'm going to free-write in this entry to... I don't know. Work it out, I suppose.
The prompt is to choose and discuss a quotation or personal motto that "reflects your values and beliefs and tells us something about the kind of person you are." And since I actually have a motto, it shouldn't be this hard. But it is, because how do I explain why it means so much to me?
I don't want to tell the story that caused this motto. It's pointless, and I've told it enough as is. And I'll admit, a big part of my reluctance has to do with not wanting that woman to have anything to do with my sucess.
No regrets. No regrets. It means never doubting yourself, even when everyone else does. It means accepting the past, no matter how painful. It means making choices for yourself, because it's your life. It's about taking responsiblity for what you've done, because life doesn't have a 'reset' button. It means that "step nine" becomes completely irrelevant. It means that given the chance, you would live your life exactly the same way.
But at the same time, it doesn't mean 'I never make mistakes'. Because I do; I'm only human. I've screwed up before, and I'll screw up again. I can't predict the future, and I don't pretend to be infalible. But I won't waste time wishing I could take it back and prevent the error, because what would I have learned? Nothing. I've seen down the path that leads to regret, and I got off it.
It's about balance. I will make mistakes, but I will grow from the experience. It's about acceptance. I can't do it over again, so I won't wish that I could. It's about self, because in the end, that's all I really have that's truly mine. I only get one shot at living, at being myself, and I refuse to waste it.
I've not struggled like some people. I haven't suffered like some people. But I'm not some people, and I've had enough dark times to know that I don't want to go back there. I refuse to go back.
'No regrets' means I don't need to beg forgiveness to be happy; as long as I forgive myself. But mostly? It means exactly what it says.
I regret nothing. And I always will.
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Date: 2006-02-05 07:25 am (UTC)Now, leave this to simmer overnight, then flesh it out a bit tomorrow, then let it sit a day or so, then work on it again. And I still offer my beta services if you need them.